The Performer.

who blinds herself, to see.

Jan 01, 2026

Poet’s Note:

There has always been a performer in all of us. Oftentimes, they come to surface when the need to abide, overpowers the need to stay true to what we feel, because it is asked of us, and refusal is not an option, we become powerless.

So we put on a mask. An act shaped by expectation, performed in the most soulless, obscene way, because it was against our will, it wasn’t a choice. and what remains are the fractures of obedience, as someone who is admired, but never truly seen.

This poem is written through the eyes of a ballerina, who is conflicted between herself and an obligation she does not feel, but must follow. It stands between the two sides of her dance. One where she shows her skill flawlessly, attends, and pleases. And the other, where she hides the part of her that is broken, conflicted, and real.

And a true performer knows, to always show the side that wants to be seen…

A glistening daze
reflects
off the silver,

a wilt that hides
in the depths
of my endeavour.

“a little more blush;
don’t you look pale?”
to appease them eyes
is a time-old tale.

Swallow your fears
your trembles and blues.
One mustn’t
falter
a single move.

follow the rhythm,
count your cues.
contain
the self,
conceal her
within rooms.

when the lights
drop down
and the curtains
release,
the silence will
cease,

let the performer
break loose.

orchestra begins—

I waltz into pretense
with precision
cutting through my
satin-boned corset.

Awe-stricken
they still,
I lift my chin
and the masses
shall toast,
Let the dance begin.

a spotlight,
slashing through me,
tries to unveil
my deceptive
grace,
and beauty
beneath the glare.

It tries
invading my form,
my cadence
but
I’m already taken
by forced compliance.

My mask fits
flawless
it speaks of felicity,
and
the mistaken sense
of my
prowess,
its identity.

My pointés
will stay,
on pirouettes
until my spine
breaks free,
and the restless satin
stains,
and bleeds.

I’ll relevé
until they see,
I couldn’t be denied
even if
I died,
trying to please
the magnificence
arched in arabesque.

I dare not defy
the tracing
of my own two feet
across this mahogany-lit floor,
as they read me,
my face,
my waist
and rehearse all the dreadful ways,
I’d fall.

I refuse to show the fright
beneath the mastery.

Oh, isn’t it wondrous?
when you’re lacing through the chords
and show,
perfectly,
no exception
to the form.

and as the violins bloom into
an ending lift,

i fear this might be
the final shear
that I’ll steep through,
a stretch,
before my ligaments confess,
their obedience
ends,
and tear in defiance.

I’ll seek through
the stage lights
for a shelter,
a place where i’m seen,
for more than a pawn who entertains.

but the music of my gasps
fades to die,
and I gather the swirls,
the twists and turns
to collapse into a bow,
so low,
my bones
can’t resurrect anymore.

a life without will,
serves as a muse for the numb,
all they hear is applause
for each time I succumb.

the crowds rise,
with my fall
starlit by my beguiling,
to convey—how my life’s only worth in merit.

but I wonder if their inquisitive pries
can seep through my lifeless soul
and question how I’m deemed to be
so full of life,
so full of passion
and dance, through and from
the minds of all.

perhaps
that is what the stage couldn’t heed,
‘the performer’
who blinds herself, to see.

*sigh*… the end.

Thank you so much for reading through the whole poem, I’m truly grateful. This was by far the longest, most stressful poem I’ve written, and it took me… 17 days. The essence of it was so fragile that I couldnt rush it. It had to unfold itself onto me each day, and by the end of it, I swear I was so relieved. haha

‘The final bow’ was the hardest part for me to write, there were many ways to end it but, the best way i thought was to capture the release, almost like a broken exhale she felt through her ‘torn ligaments’. I feel like I should make another post solely dissecting this poem, and explaining the narrative of each stanza, because I have so much left to say, and this is already pretty long! Let me know if I should do that, loves. :)

Thank you again so so much, if anything stayed with you while reading this, if you could relate or see yourself somwhere in these words, please let me know. I’d love to hear from you, beautiful people.

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